it's time to live life for you
Have you ever had a moment where you felt like you looked up and realised that your dreams weren’t yours, your goals weren’t yours and the life you were living wasn’t yours?
If yes, you know what I’m about to say.
If not, maybe this is that moment for you.
We grow up in a world that expects us to be, live and dream a certain way.
As women, we are conditioned to believe that the ‘good girl‘ way is the only way.
You know what I mean. The girl that’s submissive. Says yes to everything. Is the caretaker. Erases her wildness to serve the patriarchal and capitalist standards of society.
What happens within and to us is the same thing that is happening to Mother Earth. The control that certain parties try to have over natural, flowy, fertile, healthy, regenerative energy is killing Mama Gaia, and it’s killing us.
But when you’ve been shown a certain set of ideals, norms, values and dreams your whole life, it can be hard to know what is actually yours and what is yours to leave behind, right?
I’ve been there.
I thought the alternative to the 9-5 matrix (and the whole linear career path that’s a part of it) for me was to travel, become a digital nomad and live out of an overstuffed backpack.
It wasn’t until I found myself across the world that I realised that that sort of uprootedness didn’t give me the freedom I desired but rather a sense of anxiety and displacement. And as I was looking at other people living it up in Bali as I was trying to suppress a panic attack, I came to a deep realisation.
I simply had stepped on someone’s elses timeline again.
This wasn’t my way of stepping out of the matrix. This wasn’t my life I was living.
And you know what? That’s okay. In hindsight, I can look at that with so much compassion. I believe it takes stepping onto a few timelines to fully carve out your own. I believe it takes time to trust yourself in understanding you don’t need to see the whole path of your life right now, just the first step. I believe that it’s a process of taking two steps forward and sometimes one step back to figure out what’s meant for you.
The key thing is that you’re committed to the process.
The matrix’s timeline will always be there for you. But will that truly make you happy? If you’re here, still reading this, my guess is probably not.
You’re meant for something bigger and better. You’re meant to feel deeply happy, sure of yourself, healed as much as you can, and rooted in who you are and what you’re worthy of.
And that isn’t going to happen on somebody else’s timeline.
So in this moment, place your hand on your heart-space and ask yourself – what would feel REALLY good right now?
Nothing is too strange, silly or ‘out there’. Invite in the wildness. Open yourself up to the unthinkable.
You’re meant for greatness. It’s time.
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