moving past imposter syndrome and into worthiness
It’s one of those ‘buzz words’ that goes around the self development community quite a lot: imposter syndrome. That nagging, often subtle part of our mind’s voice, telling us we’re not worthy or capable for what we’re about to do or receive. Quite simply put, it’s often our mind’s insecurities having something to say about our heart, soul and intuition’s nudges.
All of our life, and in my eyes even beyond that, we’ve been subtly and sometimes not so subtly shown and told what we cannot do, achieve, dream or work towards – especially as women and/or marginalised people. Our patriarchal and capitalist culture and its values show us time and time again that as a woman, you’re supposed to create your dreams around your maternal instinct – and then the 20th century is double guilt-shaming us if we actually choose the mum life over career life. There’s no right way of doing these things anymore, it seems. But what all of these different directions we’re being pulled to have in common, is that the metaphorical ropes that are tied around our wrists are saying to us: you need to go this way, because you cannot go the other way. This is your path. This is your destination. All the other doors, pathways, roads – they’re closed, blocked, under construction ’till the end of the time. It’s this way or no way for a happy, healthy and fulfilled life – so you better enjoy it, because it’s all you’ve got.
I just don’t buy it anymore.
That one well-paved road we have to walk on because of values put on us since a couple of thousand of years – it’s time we burn it down, get our tools out, and carve our own path. Those doors, pathways and roads that we have been discouraged to check in with? They’re the intuitive callings, the wildest dreams, the ‘fuck yesses’. And there’s a reason we’ve been made to believe that these options should be feared and avoided. There’s a reason we’ve been made to believe they’re unavailable to us.
Someone on a podcast I was listening to referred to Shonda Rhimes’ book ‘Year of Yes’. Whilst I haven’t personally read her work yet, the person on the podcast interpreted Rhimes’ book by bringing in the question, ‘what if the answer is yes?’.
You see, for most of our life, we think, hear and interpret ‘no’. The closed doors are closed for a reason, we think, and they’re better to keep closed, because you never know what happens when you crack it open. Because of cultural values, we tell ourselves ‘no’ over and over again.
Our mind feeds off of this. The lack of opportunities and options we continuously affirm to our system is copy-pasted in our beliefs as a lack of capability, a lack of worthiness, a lack of ambition. We internalise so much of these closed doors that we don’t even know they’re there anymore after some time. We tell ourselves no so subtly so often that it becomes our norm.
So, my question to you today is, what if the answer is yes (instead of no)?
Take a moment to lean into an intuitive nudge you’re having, a dream that’s on your vision board, a pang of ‘I wish I could have that too’ when you scroll through Instagram.
What if the answer is yes?
What if you ARE capable enough to set up your own business and leave your 9-5?
What if you ARE worthy enough for a romantic partner who treats you like the Goddess you are?
What if you ARE ready to leave a friendship that doesn’t serve you anymore?
What if you DO have all that you need within you, including your intuitive superpowers and female fire?
Our vision is often so obstructed by years of saying no, that we don’t even allow ourselves to explore the option of yes.
But moving past imposter syndrome requires us to venture outside of what we’ve known forever and inside the exciting possiblities of the unknown, and all that can give us.
Moving past imposter syndrome means tapping into courage, doing things that scare you without feeling ready (because FYI, you will never feel 100% ready!) and learning, with time, that actually, you did have all that it took to take that step.
What if you ARE the best person to give that presentation?
What if you CAN totally trust your intuitive vibe about that new person in your life?
What if your opinion IS needed and valued in your next meeting?
What happens then?
Tell me in a comment below! Life’s too short to give imposter syndrome the big stage – so let’s implement some more ‘yesses’ this week, month and year and see where they can take us!
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