On Stillness and Belonging

I’ve been reflecting on my sense of Self within stillness, and what stillness in effect actually means in a world which is continuously moving. Not just manmade movement with 24hr time slots to check somebody’s social updates, but the sacred cycles of Mother Earth and the Moon as well.

It’s been a year since I packed my bag and headed to Bali. These past twelve months have been a year of deep triggers, and deep healing because of it. Many of you know my time in Bali wasn’t what I expected, for various reasons.

The past 10-12 months, I have been (sub)consciously working with this concept of time and indirectly, with the themes of rooting down, grounding in my own identity and which dreams are actually mine.

Now, I’m typing this with a cat on my lap, candles lit and a relaxing playlist in the background. My heart’s full and my sense of Being is slowly but surely arriving. My soul is catching up with my body, and I am catching up with Earth’s wisdom alongside it.

It’s been a year of deep processes, and I’ve realised that no matter how hard I try, I can never truly hold onto time. I can never have her in my grasp, no matter how tightly I clutch. And this is the biggest blessing of all.

In our man-made society, we like to think we can influence time. Get up at 5AM to tick off all of our to-do’s before anyone else has opened their eyes. A black mirror in our hand which, if we want it to, will feed us information and entertainment for the whole 24 hours of our day.

What a blessing, then, to surrender to Time. To surrender to the natural cycles of life, to the sacredness of the seasons, to our bodies which know best.

There’s much for me to learn about myself still – about the trust that this surrender requires. What I do know is that there is immense power in this surrender. Stillness – not as a goal, but as the term to define the sacred rebellion against a society that expects us to defeat the natural processes within and around us.